Random Thoughts

1. Exercise is hard. I just now (like 5 minutes ago) finished exercising for the first time in a while. My back finally feels up to pulling my gravimetrically powerful posterior around a bit. So despite my instincts, I started slow and made sure to stop while my brain was saying "Don't be a wuss, keep going!". Less fun, but more responsible. And to be honest, while I didn't do all that much compared to my previous workouts, I feel it already. That's a good sign, and a bad sign. Still, I feel better for having started the long road to recovering some of the muscle mass my depression-based habits have cost me. Before you know it, I'll be able to drive my forefinger through a skull. Or lift a cup of coffee without cramping.

2. Spring Break!!!!! Woo!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes, I know, spring break is actually over now. But I had the best spring break that I've ever had. And I think it was not only the best spring break my family has ever had, but possibly the best off-school time we've ever had. Why? Because we tried, we got along, we actually did some things as a family, and we were happy. Those things? Those are pretty unprecedented in our family (much of the fault for that is squarely on my shoulders). For the most part, I don't think I've been a very good father to my children (not that I've been a bad father, just not a good one), or a good partner to my woman for all these years (and by that, I may actually mean kinda bad). However, I'm at a point in my life where I've had some revelations, and despite my mental issues, I'm trying to be a better father, a better partner, and a better me than I ever have before. I think we have something very good, and with hard work, it will be something great, if not FUCKIN' EPIC! Does it pay off every day? I don't know. But when it does (more often than not), it feels so god damned wonderful. And this was pretty much an entire week not of simply paying off, but paying off the big bucks! So thank you to my kids and my wonderful, endlessly supportive woman for the best week ever. 

3. Fuck the state!!!!!!!!!!! I made the leap during spring break to actually go take the written portion of the driver's test in order to get a permit so that I can legally practice driving again, with the hopes of taking the driving portion soon thereafter. Got there, waited, finally talked to someone, was told I couldn't take the test because I was marked in the computer system as "suspended". Just for the record, the last time I drove a car legally was in September of 1991. The day of my accident, my DL had been expired for a couple of days, a fact I didn't realize until the cop pointed it out to me. It's only been the last few months where I've started working on reacquainting myself with a vehicle and have really been feeling the need for speed. Okay, if you know me, you know that last part isn't true - I hate going fast. But I have been feeling the urge to drive. Go places with my son during the daytime, visit friends, etc. I was sooooo jazzed to be there to take the test. 

DENIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

I finally made contact with someone who could enlighten me on correcting this situation that, frankly, the state should have been over already (seriously, I didn't cause any vehicular trouble to the state for 20 years! Gimme a break already!) So, I have to have insurance. I have to pay a $150 reinstatement fee (and I bet that doesn't include the cost of the tests). Given some time, I can find a way to swing that as well. Last, but not least, I have to provide a notarized statement declaring that I wasn't sued as a result of the accident I was found at fault for (That's some bullshit by the way, but that's a different post). Three people were hospitalized as a result of my accident, two of whom were passengers in my car. What do you think the chances are that I wasn't sued by someone as a result of that accident? So I don't know what this means for my driving future. I guess I need to talk to a barrister or something. Regardless, let me reiterate - FUCK THE STATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DOWN WITH WHITEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 (okay, that part just made me chuckle). 

4. Bwuh?!? Have the Republicans given up the pretense of being for small, non-intrusive government completely? And for the matter, the pretense of sanity? I mean, whiskey tango foxtrot? It seems like every other day or so, I hop onto the series of tubes we call the world wide web, only to be smacked in the face by an entirely new batch of insaniwhatthefuckerareyoucrazy?!?!?! by some Republican somewhere. And I don't mean boring old shit like calling the PotUS a Nazicommisocialkenyanist. I mean shit like what the Governor in Wisconsin pulled. I mean things like Bobby Franklin's recent activities (look it up - in fairness, that man may just be bugshit crazy though). Things like declaring the defunding of NPR an emergency. Seriously? How is that a fucking priority right now? You're supposed to save that shit for when other things, you know, important things, AREN"T FUCKED UP! Things like having the IRS investigate methods used to pay for abortions. Who knew that "small government" meant small enough to invade the uterus for an inspection? Learn something new everyday. Really, I can't go on. Too depressing. But that party seems to have succumbed to the crazy element and along the way, purged any sane moderates.      And that sucks.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not terribly pleased with some of the shit the Obama administration has pulled. But it seems to be a banal, mundane evil when it happens and at the same time, I think he's trying to do some good also. God, I tired of hearing people complain that's he not liberal/Left enough though. It was pretty obvious from the get go that he was pretty centrist and not leftist. Personally, I marked my vote for Obama, but not because I believed in him. I just wanted to vote against McCain. And to that end, he's done mostly what I expected of him. Some of the Guantonomo and PATRIOT Act stuff caught me off guard, and I hope that shit gets changed real quick. 

But it's not been like what the GOP has been presenting. I fully expect to wake up one morning, log on, and see a picture of John Boehner twirling a Snidely Whiplash mustache while praising Jesus and stabbing a puppy with a sharpened cross covered in $100 bills. He'll probably eat the puppy afterwards, washing that down with a nice, refreshing glass of Poor Blood (Poor Blood! Quenches your thirst and gets rid of Those People!)

Shit is wack, yo!

5. The Other Guys. Holllleeeeee sheeite, did that movie make me laugh. TOG was so much funnier than I expected it to be. If you don't like Will Farrell, you probably won't care for this. If, like me, you think his stuff is typically okay, but sometimes comically brilliant (or at least brilliantly delivered), then go watch this movie!

6. Date Night. Not nearly as funny as The Other Guys, but certainly provided some laughs. Worth checking out if you're bored, or, like me, you think Tina Fey is pretty sexy.

7. Tucker and Dale vs. Evil. A horror comedy you'll probably never hear of, this was an amusing, and surprisingly charming and touching film. It stars Alan Tyduk (Firefly, Serenity, Dollhouse) and Tyler Labine (Reaper, Dead Last).

8. Black Dynamite. I think Michael Jai White has found his film franchise - though I doubt it will become a franchise, and that's a damn shame (in fact, I bet your ass and half a titty it doesn't become a franchise). Though a spoof of blaxploitationfilms, it was obviously made by someone with a great knowledge and love of those films. A fun movie.

9. Twin Peaks. Last night, my daughter came to me and asked me "Dad, can we watch Twin Peaks?" I was so proud. I responded in the positive, and with dinner, she, myself, my eldest, and my woman watched the pilot ep. I had forgotten just how much I enjoyed Kyle MacLachlan's performance in that show. More importantly, I had forgotten just How. Damned. Pretty. the cast is. Between Lara Flynn Boyle, Madchen Amick, and Sherilyn Fenn, well, let's just say I was tingly all over. I have never actually seen the end of the show, so don't spoil it for me.

10. The Ramones. You know, other than a handful of songs, I just don't like The Ramones.

I probably have more, but fuck it, I think I'm done for now.I'm going to go work on my rpg (The End) for my family. You all have a great day, and I'll be back for more sooner rather than later I hope. I leave you with

I'm going for a walk
not the after dinner kind
I'm gonna use my hands
and I'm gonna use my mind

and who the hell are you to tell me what to do?
you can't even tie your own haggard shoes
your closet is a mess, and your backyard's falling down
and I have no grand ideas or intentions of sticking around

I'm gonna build a world
independent and exempt
all alone I'll be an empire
with no mortgage and no rent

and I don't need to live in your stinking zoo
you can't even feed the animals donated to you
your storage sheds are ramshackled, flies decorate the walls
and you expect me to die here in this shit-filled tiny stall?

and I know you're watching! everything I do
call me threat to your children call me socially unglued
call me master of insanity, unable to relate
call me lazy, bane, and filthy
call me monstrous reprobate

I'm going for a walk and there's nothing you can do
'cuz I don't have to live like you
so I'm going for a walk

-"A Walk" (Bad Religion)