Howdy. I figured I'd write something from a place in my mind
different than where the last long post came from. A place less filled with
anger and disappointment. So I'll talk about movies and television that I've
been seen recently. While I'll try to some degree to avoid spoilers, I'll not
try that hard.
First up:
Fast Five.
First, the most important thing about this movie – Jesus Holy
Christ on the Cross, did you see how fucking HUGE The Rock was in this movie?
Good God Almighty. I watched this with my SO and The Daughter, and when he
appeared on screen, we all basically went "Did he get bigger? Jeez, he's
huge". Then I think the SO went to a special place in her mind for a
minute. . . Seriously. I guess he didn't want to take a chance that Vin Diesel
might be close in raw size. Success. They were written to be pretty equally formidable,
but I bet when Dwayne showed up on set, the director went "Wha? Who told
him to eat a village? Too big now!" Luckily, The Rock didn't take his
shirt off, or someone would have had to leave the room methinks.
Anyway. I'd seen a bit of the first movie in the series.
Didn't like it. Don't like car movies. It was dumb. Make no mistake – Fast Five is dumb. Big, dumb, and loud.
Like that guy in high school. You know the one.
But gosh darnit, it was a lot of fun too. And I attribute a
lot of that to The Rock. I think the biggest flaw with the movie was that it
didn't have a straight hour of The Rock v. Vin Diesel brawling. I would have
watched that.
The second biggest flaw was Paul Walker. He brought
absolutely NOTHING to the movie. It didn't need him at all.
Again, big, dumb, loud and a lot of mindless fun. If that's something
you're interested in, this might be a good movie for you.
Killing Bono
Killing Bono was not a great film. It wasn't a bad film
either. It was entertaining, but ultimately forgettable. It stars the smart ass
from Misfits (Robert Sheehan I think), Jesse Pinkman's junkie girlfriend from Breaking Bad, and other people. The
director did not play to Sheehan's primary strength – the ability to perfectly
deliver blistering sarcasm at a moment's notice. The guy who played Bono was
okay. He did a good job at duping Bono's facial expressions (at least I thought
so. Someone more familiar with Bono, like the SO, might disagree).
The main character was a wanker. Needed to get punched in
the face. So did Bono. Not for any particular reason, I just think Bono should
get punched in the face at least once a year to make him more humble.
So if you've got some time to kill, are in a movie mood, and
want to understand only half of what anyone is saying, this can fill that time.
The Prestige
This movie was made by the guy who made Batman Begins and The Dark Night.
It stars Batman, Not-Wolverine, Alfred the Butler, and a couple of women I know
not at all (SO told me one of them was Scarlet Johannsen. I guess that means something
to someone).
Batman plays a magician. Not-Wolverine plays a magician. Alfred
plays a guy who helps magicians. Batman's magician is a working/lower class
schlub with a talent for the tricks. Not-Wolverine is a dandyish, upper class
magician with a talent for showmanship. Things happen, a rivalry starts, and
hilarity ensues.
And then. . . Tesla!!!!
The movie was a little on the long side, and you could tell
it was a Nolan film (shades of Memento
and the Batman flicks in there). But it was okay. Not super interesting but
engaging enough. Both Batman and Not-Wolverine gave good performances.
Visually, it was very good, mixing the dirty streets of Victorian London with the
grandeur of the theaters to be found there. Very atmospheric, very nicely put
together.
The ending might be a disappointment however, as there are a
couple of plot twists that you might get a kick out of, or might make you feel
cheated.
Thor
I'll tell you right up front – Thor was, for a few years, my
favorite comic book, and I'm very picky about my comic book adaptations (I
still maintain that the X-Men
franchise is pretty crap). So let me say, I enjoyed the hell out of Thor. While I still think the guy who
played Thor could have been bigger, I was pretty damned impressed with his
appearance for the part. He bulked up quite a bit. This was another one I
watched with the SO and the Daughter. I heard both of them gasp when he first
appeared shirtless. Hell, I might have gasped a little bit too (I don't think was
as big as The Rock in Fast Five
though).
The story for Thor
was a little on the weak side. But I wasn't looking for an involved, deep,
meaningful story. I was looking for cheap, sweaty action. And I pretty much got
that. Loki was okay. Thor was okay (the actor has a really charming, infectious
smile, I admit). No one else really had much personality, so by that standard,
they were all right also.
Earth looked like Earth.
Asgard looked beautiful. I mean, just beautiful. It was a
perfect mix of mythology meets Alien Space Gods. Very comic bookish.
It was a hell of lot better than I thought it would be, for
sure. Certainly worth checking out if you haven't' already.
Captain America: The
First Avenger
Straight up – this movie tied with Iron Man for my favorite Marvel adaptation. I did not have high
hopes for CA (I don't like Chris Evans much and was disappointed with his
casting). I'll just say it – I was wrong to not have faith in this movie. CA
pretty much hit every single note of what I'm looking for in a comic book movie
adaptation. The action was right, the super science was right, the depiction of
his abilities was right and the shield-slinging was awesome. CA made the bar
for DC movies even higher than it already was (face it, other than Batman, they
haven't been doing too well lately, and now, they have to try even harder).
The work they did on Steve Rogers pre-Super Soldiering was
superior. I mean it. You actually have to see that shit to believe it. And
serious props to Evans for bulking and sculpting so that he looked like Cap
from the comics. And while I tire of Hugo Weaving being in every movie
everywhere, I can't deny that he was an excellent choice for Red Skull (and
props to the costume people for the Skull look – excellent). Now, my first choice
for Skull would have been Jürgen
Prochnow, but he was born during
WWII, so is a bit old for the part. Since he couldn't do it, Weaving was a good
choice.
The Howling
Commandos were good. About the only character I thought didn't work terribly
well was Peggy. Don't know if that was the writing, the actress, the director,
or one or more of the above. But that's a small thing at most.
As with the Iron Man movies, Thor, and Incredible Hulk,
there are a lot of little details that, if you keep your eyes open and know
what to look for, make you go "Ahhh, okay. I saw that. Sneaky
bastards."
I cannot recommend
this movie enough for lovers of superhero films.
Green Lantern
I watched this, if I
recall correctly, right after Captain
America. That was a mistake. This movie should not have followed CA at all
because doing so tarnished my ability to determine if something done poorly in
GL was actually done poorly, or if it
was just because it followed CA.
Ultimately, this
wasn't a bad movie. But it wasn't a good movie either. It suffered from seeming
like three different movies that had been jammed together. It was an origin
story combined with a manipulated comic arc story (very heavily compressed and
altered), and then there was some character development shit that I ignored. It
was too long, and there wasn't enough Green Lanterning for my tastes. But at
the same time, it had some really good parts. Ryan Reynolds was a decent enough
choice for the part. Angela Bassett was a terrible choice for Amanda Waller
though. They should have gone with either Smallville's Pam Grier Waller, or CCH
Pounder (who has voiced the character in animation and is my primary pick for a
live action version as well). Michael Clark Duncan was a terribly uninspired choice
to voice Kilowog (Inferior to Henry Rollins' portrayal in Green Lantern: Emerald Knights). Sinestro was pretty good though.
Now the Green
Lanterning that did occur was excellent. They did a wonderful job of bringing
the emerald constructs to the screen (with a Big Old Treat Construct near the
end). I thought the GL costumes worked out really nicely (I believe they were
entirely CG?).
So can I recommend
this? Yes, with the caveat that you keep your finger near the FF button to
speed up some parts.
Camelot
A Starz television show,
one season, 10 episodes, then cancelled. Which is too bad. It is the best
retelling of the Arthurian myth? Is it Excalibur? Then no, it's not the best
retelling. Dumb question. But it's pretty decent. It's more low magic than you
might expect, but in a good way (Merlin is a manipulative, magnificent bastard
in this). The biggest problem I had with this was the kid who played Arthur.
For one thing, he looks like what would happen if my oldest son and the
wrestler Edge somehow had a love child. Second, he just isn't kingly. He didn't
have much charisma. But that's okay, because neither did the woman who played
Guinevere. Together, they were a very yellow, uncharismatic blob.
But everyone else on
the show was wonderfully cast. I was very pleased with Clive Standen's Gawaine.
But straight up, Camelot belonged to
Merlin, played by Joseph Fiennes. I imagine they actually wanted to call the
show Merlin, but couldn't because of
that one show. . . what's the name? Oh, right. Merlin. But they wanted to. I'd bet money. Because this was his
show. He steals pretty much every scene he's in. He brought a gravitas that no
one else on the screen could quite match. He manipulated things behind the
scenes, lied, cheated, and was magnificent.
The show is pretty
much worth watching just for him if nothing else. And while I didn't find the
women involved very attractive, it wasn't shy about the bare and thinly yet
wetly covered female breasts.
If you find yourself
in the middle of repeat season, with nothing else to watch, check it out. It provides
at the very least, a much more appealing look at Arthur than that terrible
Clive Owen King Arthur film (and frankly,
may be more historically accurate).
Planet Hulk
Meh. I didn't love this
one. But I didn't find the storyline in the comics compelling either. I thought
it was neat to see Beta Ray Thor/Bill in place of Silver Surfer. You don't see BRT
much in things (as far as I know). This
was, however, on par with the other Marvel animated films. Marvel might kicking
DC ass in the live-action arena, but in Animationdome, DC leaves more often
than Marvel does.
All-Star Superman
I didn't like the
animation style of this film. Otherwise, it was a okay for an Elseworlds type
of story. The voice casting was all wring however. By far, the least
interesting of the DC animated films so far.
Batman: Year One
I'd heard that Batman Begins took a lot of inspiration
from the Batman: Year One comic. If
this adaptation is even halfway faithful, then that's a huge understatement.
You can spot scene for scene things in this that are in Batman Begins. Watching it is kind of like watching an alternate
take of BB, except I think Bale was a better Batman (I'm biased – Bale is my
favorite Batman to date).
Oh yeah. Gordon is a
BAD ASS in this.
If you're a Batman
fan, this is definitely worth a viewing. If you're not, and you just like the
movies, then just go watch Batman Begins
again.
Green Lantern: Emerald Knights
This is a collection
of short GL stories about different Lanterns, set at different times (including
a tale of the First Lantern), set within a framework of an evil anti-matter
Krona breaking on through to the other side. Hal Jordan, voiced by Mal
Reynolds/Rick Castle/Nathan Fillion, narrates the tales. And does a really good
job at it. He should absolutely do more voice work. Henry Rollins turns in a
good performance as Kilowog. Hell, I think Rowdy Roddy Piper does one of the voices.
Frankly, as a Green
Lantern movie, I think this is superior to Green Lantern. I will say, surprisingly,
the constructs in Green Lantern were much better than in Emerald Knights.
Worth a watch.
-----
Well, I guess that's
all for now. I swear, there's something I'm forgetting but it's late, and I'm
tired, so it will have to wait (if it exists). Until next time, peace.
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