A General Life Update

Well, I'm doing okay for the most part. I can feel the evil, self-destructive part of my mind jumping at any little thing (the details of which aren't for you, sorry) to try and get a solid hold, but so far I've been able to deflect it. Still, having to fight it off takes its own toll on the old noodle noggin' (an aside – I wish companies that have turned me down for credit cards in the last 6 months would STOP sending me credit card applications!!!) I still haven't adjusted to being by myself during the days. I'm having a hard time motivating myself to get anything accomplished (like my house work, writing, music composition, photo manipulation and cataloging, etc). I'm working on the (possibly self-delusional) assumption that this is just a transitory phase that will pass soon enough. Tomorrow, I'm going to work on putting up little motivational posters for myself (assuming I can motivate myself to do so!) What I've been thinking is that I need to come up with a structure for each day. A firm (not necessarily fixed) schedule for each day. I think if I give myself a framework, maybe I'll feel less aimless.

On the definite plus side of things, I've been sticking to my thrice-weekly workout routine, and starting last week, escalated to a more developed, intense routine. And while it is hell on my arthritic back, I can see definite gains. I'm on the way to recovering some of the muscle mass I lost over the last year and a half to my depression-based self-neglect. I already feel stronger and in better condition than I did the last time I was working out on a regular basis. And it's helping me to feel better about myself in general. I think I look better and healthier, so I feel better and healthier. Apparently, where goes my body, so goes my mind.

I am frustrated at the fact that I still can't seem to get my weekly game going again, and that's bad for my mind. Sundays (game day) are very frustrating for me right now. But I'm almost at the point of just saying "Fuck those guys then". And while I don't feel like trying to recruit new in-the-flesh players, I admit I'm pondering getting a completely online game with strangers going. It sucks though, because I was really enjoying the game I was running. More so than any game I've run in a while.

I'm concerned for my woman. She's just started back to work, and as usual, they don't have their shit together at all. Seriously. The people in charge at her workplace shouldn't be in charge of a soda machine in a McDonald's, let alone that place. So I know that's frustrating her, and I think she's got some other things on her mind (that she may not even realize). Added onto that is the stress from our youngest having a less-than-easy time in his first year of school (see below).

Financially (which you may recall, I'm in charge of the finances and such matters), we're getting HAMMERED. The godsdamned electric bills are whipping us like red-headed step-children (what is the origin of that statement anyway?) Our electric bill should not be in the area of $400 a month for summer, but it is. Fucking heat wave bullshit. Anyway, that just adds to my stress, her stress, and then the overall household stress level.

We've got new neighbors now. The old neighbor passed away a while back (a shame, she was a nice older woman. The only neighbor I've conversed with since we’ve moved here). They have a dog that is the size of a Great Dane, the color and pattern of a Dalmatian, and has a Barry White bark. I don't think Marsupial (my dog) has gotten a visual, but I think he's intimidated already. As fierce as he likes to think he is, he has a poor record with establishing dominance over other dogs. Over our kids, he's more than established dominance. Other dogs? Not so much.

As I mentioned, my youngest started kindergarten this year. Full-day kindergarten. It could be going better. Apparently, he's spending a lot of time pitching balls-to-the-wall fits. We've had some reports of good mornings, and fit-filled afternoons. He's going to start working a couple times per week with their on-site child specialist person. Last week, about an hour after I dropped him off (following a lovely walk to school), the school called me with a request to come pick him up. He threw a chair at a kid (and scored a hit). Frankly, I hope working with their child person helps, because we don't know what else to do right now. According to his teacher, some of it seems to be him simply getting overwhelmed with things. And he seems to have a real hate-on for writing. That might be due to his having learned to type long before he tried to write, but I don't know.

The woman and I are caught up on Breaking Bad finally. Man, I really don't like most of the characters on that show. I like Hank and their kid but the rest of them are kinda shitty people. I especially dislike Skylar. Nowhere near as much as I hate Kai Wynn on DS9, but it's a pretty strong dislike. We've got only two episodes left of season 2 of Hercules. I'm still enjoying the hell out of that, and the woman has grown to appreciate it for what it is. And that's pretty damn cool. Still wish my kids would watch it with us though. Oh well, screw those guys.  

I'm pretty sure I have more to say, but I think I forgot it. So for now, I'll leave you with this question:

Which is better, Minor Threat's Minor Threat album, or their Out of Step album?