Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Getting Old Sucks

Today, myself, my SO and my two older kids went to therapy. Due to circumstances beyond our control, we were late. I was the only one in a good mood going in, and I think I was still the only one in a good mood coming out. After we got home, the SO decided that for today's exercise (I'm using her for motivation), we would go play soccer at her sister's house. So she, myself and my daughter trekked forth to engage in recreational sporting (something I haven't really done in years and with my back I don't even know if I should do).

After kicking the ball around a bit we finally got started. It was me and my daughter against the SO and her sister. Now if you know the So you know she's pretty athletic, loves sports, and thrives on competition. So long story short – we STOMPED THEIR ASSES! The SO played well, the sister gave a good effort, but they could not stand against my daughter's ball handling skill and my player handling skill (soccer is a full contact sport, right?) We stopped when it looked like my daughter twisted her ankle a bit. It was a lot of fun but it was only an few minutes before I was feeling the effects on my back, and the result of my seriously deteriorated stamina (I didn't throw up – but it was close. My endurance apparently extends to getting coffee and that's about it anymore).

Then we headed to the convenience store for treats and smokes. I got a lemon-lime slushi and pork rinds (that I later noticed were a year out of date). From there, we had to make a quick stop at the grocery store. As we pulled up, I took a drink of slushi. I got out of the car, cracked wise about something, and as I was walking around the car, had a brain freeze. Not a funny ha-ha mildly annoying brain freeze. No, I had a nearly-collapsed-burry-vision-demons-are-stabbing-my-brain kind of freeze. The kind that left me leaning on the back of the car for a couple ofg minutes waiting to be able to walk. My heart rate accelerated, I started sweating more profusely. To be honest, I was afraid I was having some kind of stroke. It left me shaky going into the store.

Once in the store, I noticed the vegetables were really shiny so I went to touch one to see if it was over-watered or ice crystals. And the gods damned vegetable shocked me. Now, I hate static electricity and the feeling of being shocked. It takes quite a while for the feeling in my arms and torso to go away. Three minutes later, something else shocked me. TL;DR – I got shocked 6 or 7 times. Pretty much anything I touched that was conductive conducted. I still feel the after effects an hour later. By the time we left the store I was walking like Frankenstien's monster between the effects of the shocks and my lower back being on the verge of deciding it was done. And I got a blister on my foot.

So, the lesson of this story is ultimately

WE KICKED ASS AT SOCCER!!!!!!!! WOO HOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh yeah, it was a lot of fun also :D

Edit: And about 20 minutes after posting this, I broke a fucking tooth.

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